Right, so, I fucking love Thanksgiving. No work, all fucking week and plenty of food. Even that stick in the mud Morganstar decided to cut us some slack. Probably because he was too busy with that Goddamn Priest's Corpse. Doing Slender Man knows WHAT to it in that room of his. The Goddamn Weirdo. So, I'll bet you guys want to know what Proxies eat for Thanksgiving. I bet you are thinking "Eyeball Soup" or maybe delicious "Brain Pie." Well ladies and gentlemen. I am here to disappoint you. We ate Turkey, and stuffing and Mashed Potatoes. And Corn. Sinister, no? And then we ate Cake. DEVIL'S FOOD CAKE!!! OOOOOOOOOH. We are so Evil like that.
But now it is over. Gotta clean off the old chainsaw, apply my makeup and put on my floppy shoes. Der Fuhrer tells me we have new assignments, that will likely bring us in to conflict with the Baker Street Proxies. You know. The Feminazi, the Samurai Wannabe, the Asshole, the OTHER Asshole and Fia. Not a big fan. Bad news is, we have Four Assignments. And there are Five of us. This means we get to solo it and deal with the competition at the same time. Fun, fun, fun. I really am in a good mood today.
I got MY assignment. Simply perfect: A Little Girl who is suffering from Coulrophobia. Fear of MOTHERFUCKING CLOWNS. THERE IS NO GODDAMN REASON FOR THIS PHOBIA TO EXIST. WE ARE NOT FUCKING SCARY, WE TRAIN NIGHT AND DAY TO MAKE YOU INSENSITIVE JACKASSES LAUGH. But I digress. I will enjoy this.
OH before I forget, this message was made exactly EIGHT HOURS before it is scheduled to go up. Early Bird Gets the Worm. SEE YOU AT THE KILL ZONE BAKER STREET BITCH.
<3 Gleeman.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, your rage at their insensitivity makes ME laugh.
ReplyDeleteMaybe someone made her watch Steven King's IT too many times as a child? I know THAT clown gave me nightmares. Otherwise, I'd say you're pretty justified, I don't understand that phobia at all.
ReplyDeleteWell, okay, you're probably not justified to kill her for it, but being angry about it, sure.
@Nightscream Well look at that, for once there is something we can both agree on. Miracles CAN happen!
ReplyDeleteBetween Gleeman's post and Raggedyman's comment I'm going to resist a great urge to make a Gamzee referance. Have I mentioned that you are the only clown I have ever actually found funny, Gleeman, it's true, this post was pure brilliance. honk.
ReplyDeleteSee you around
-Cage
You know, you're insisting that there is no reason to be afraid of clowns, but I think your chosen side career is adding several legitimate excuses for that fear.
ReplyDeleteJust showing off..
ReplyDeletehttp://theknigthorder.blogspot.com/2011/11/just-showing-off.html
@Nightscream: Glad you are amused.
ReplyDelete@Gargoyle: The Book is pretty scary. But the movie is goddamn hilarious. Tim Curry is a joy.
@Cage: Ha. Ha. Ha. The Irony. It is KILLING me.
@I-330: There is no reason to be afraid of Clowns but there IS a reason to be afraid of me, dipshit. You don't hate Germans because a few of them were Nazis do you? Why fear clowns because a few of us were serial killers.
@Omega Millitum: OOOOOOH Scary. A dead body. Never seen one of those before. Seriously, who the hell do you think you're trying to scare.
Fucking christ...
ReplyDelete"Baker Street Bitch"
ReplyDeleteIt's got a nice ring to it.
you are...
ReplyDeletemy enemies.
You got to do what you got to do. It doesn't matter what side of the battle we fight on.
ReplyDeleteNo one will win.
Remember that. That way I can declare "I told you so"