One to One

So it turns out my head start was pretty much useless. The target was some little brat. My plan was FLAWLESS. Set fire to the kids house, kill the parents as they panic, and then kill the kid. Simple, straightforward, and would allow me to get back home by dinner time. Or rather it WOULD HAVE BEEN, IF THAT BAKER STREET BASTARD HAD NOT SHOWN UP AND MESSED WITH THE PLAN. Cameraman, or whatever the fuck his name is, got in while I was enacting phase one. So I come inside while the house is on fire and see him fighting the parents. So I give him a helping hand, killing dear old Dad for him. Fucking ingrate. In any case, the target kid escaped out a window. Somehow. I expected her to be cowering in the closet or under her bed. The Kid was CRYING. A sound I have gotten used to over the years. I swear, brats will cry at the ICE CREAM CLOWN giving them SUGARY TREATS. Makes me wonder why any of us bother trying to entertain these little dumbasses.
So one shanking later, Camerafucktard shows back up and tries to KILL ME. Being the badass that I am, I easily held him off with my superior stabbing abilities and sent him running with a whiff of my posie. Acid Flowers never get old. I expect he bitched for a while to his boss and the clean up team. Fuck him. Morningstar didn't give a shit, why should I.
So now this means that Team Morganstar and The Baker Street Bitches are tied, one to one. Tiger and Jack won't fuck this up. I am sure of it. Oh and Recluse... Don't be upset that you didn't kill your target. We all have off days, you'll do better next time hun.

Red Tide

I noticed that neither Jack nor Recluse really gave an introduction. For those of you ignorant of us, we are the... Surviving... Team members that the original Morningstar (God rest that boy's soul) worked with. My Chosen name is GLEEMAN. I am an Ex-Clown. I went to children's parties. I performed in a Circus. I was briefly a Rodeo Clown. AND I AM FUCKING PISSED. Do ANY of you know what it is LIKE to be LAUGHED AT DAY IN AND DAY OUT for going through HUMILIATION AFTER HUMILIATION. And the people that don't find me funny think I am John Motherfucking GACY. I am NOT a Monster, I am NOT a goddamn PUNCHING BAG. I am a Human BEING. I have FEELINGS. But you know what? NOT ONE OF YOU BASTARDS GIVES A SHIT. So why should I? But I swear to God, Allah, Shiva, Odin, Zeus, Slender Man and L. Ron Hubbard HIMSELF that if any of you worthless pieces of shit claims to hate clowns, and does not have a LEGITIMATE GODDAMN REASON I will make Gacy look like Ronald FUCKING McDonald. The last sound you hear will be my high-off-of-helium laughter, echoing in your head as you breath your final breath of air...
And that is who I am :D
So, my mission for the day is to murder a Teenager. Seventeen year old punk surfer guy. I hate kids I HATE THEM SO MUCH... With their slimy mucus covered fingers and their snotty noses and annoying ass laughter and always asking me for FUCKING BALLOON ANIMALS, WELL I WILL GIVE YOU LITTLE SHITS BALLOON ANIMALS: FUCKING BALLOON ANACONDA WITH CLOWN ASSISTED KUNG FU GRIP. Fits nicely around their little NECKS.
But I digress.
Hunting a new target is always a different experience. Our orders are so... Random seeming sometimes. We have been brought in to kill people who have been stalked for YEARS, and we have been sent to kill people who might have seen Faceless Father maybe once. And everywhere in between. Why don't we just kill them after a certain point of time? Why the randomness? But randomness is part of the game isn't it? We cannot expect Daddy dearest to be predictable. He is a thing of CHAOS, isn't he?
But I digress further.
Surfer Dude, real name is... Marcus or something (I call him "Dude"), has been stalked for about 2 Weeks. He is just reaching the breaking point, and our intel suggested he might do something to try and relax himself. SURFING obviously. So, when he was spotted leaving his home, I went to a likely spot on the beach, and waited, in the water.... On my fabulous surf board. Dude entered the water... AND THE SHOW BEGAN. Riding a Large Wave, I came upon him, juggling the knives that would, in mere moments, be embedded into his chest. I think the sight of a Clown riding a surf board while juggling knives surprised him. He wasn't shark food yet though, hilarious though it might be. I had to steal a boat to throw him further off into the water. THEN he became shark food.
Hey, Morningstar, aren't we... You know... Supposed to be in competition with some other team? Have they even killed anyone yet? I mean. The competition began only a few days ago. And we have three kills to their.... One? Do we need to wait for them to catch up? It doesn't seem FAIR to me. Like. At all.